Fish Who Float Sideways

Murphy’s Law

Here’s one for the books.  I stop at a pizza place to grab some delicious pizza (very counter-productive for my fake diet, I know), with the intention of stopping home, eating my pizza, watching some TV and then going out to meet a friend for a beer in the neighborhood.  This plan completely goes to shit when I arrive at my front door only to discover that I had left my keys on my kitchen table that morning, and my boyfriend was at that moment on a plane to Denver, having locked up before he left, unaware that I didn’t have my keys.  So I call the building, and the building won’t let me in because my name’s not on our lease.  Then I use my phone to log into my boyfriend’s email account to send an email to the woman we sublet from (she won’t give us a phone number where she can be reached, and I have no idea where she lives, cause that would just be too easy) asking her to call me and let me into the apartment ASAP.  As of now, I still have not heard from her, and my boyfriend is going to have to over-night his keys over to me at my office, in which case I won’t get them until tomorrow.  So I meet up with my friend for a beer anyway, completely a mess and in tears, get drunk (cause what else could I do at that point), and stay at her place for the night.  So now, I am wearing my friend’s dress, a pair of shoes I had at work, and tights that I picked up at Duane Reade this morning (along with deodorant, toothbrush/toothpaste, and Advil).  And I am currently sitting at my desk hating my life.

Now how’s THAT for a fantabulous morning story?!

How was your night?  Go on, I dare you to top that.